How my father’s diabetes brought us closer together

When my father was diagnosed with diabetes, I knew it was never going to be easy:

• Trying to make him change and shift his lifestyle would be an enormous challenge.
• The endless debates over food and the frustration of trying to convince him to take care of himself would bring tension into our home.
• Our relationship would be defined by arguments and exhaustion.

I knew I had to be prepared for these things.

But what surprised me was how much closer together this journey would bring us – That it would turn into a strong, lifetime bond.

Getting started

My father has always been a proud and independent man, which made early progress difficult. For him, accepting help, especially from his daughter, was hard – He felt he was being looked down on.

And for me, watching him struggle but refuse to listen was just as painful and discouraging. So I had to take things slow and help him, hoping for the best, no matter how it made either of us feel.

Making progress

Over time, things gradually changed. Somewhere along the way, my father’s perspective changed. He began taking everything positively.

And this change in him improved our relationship and reduced the tension that had been building up.

It also allowed me to take a step back and stop having to control every aspect of his health (he was taking more on himself). And this meant in his eyes I stopped being an ‘enforcer’. Instead, he saw me as a partner looking out for him.

Connecting

We started talking a lot, and not just about his diabetes. We also talked about his fears, his regrets, and his memories (which I really enjoyed). And as our conversations became deeper, I realised that for the first time in years we were truly listening to each other and talking openly.

Some of my favourite moments together happened during our evening walks. He’d initially resisted walking or jogging together (and I’d had to convince him every time) but, once it became part of our routine, it turned into a time for us to bond – We talked about everything from his childhood stories in India to my dreams for the future.

Cooking together also became a new way to connect. Instead of forcing diet changes on him, I involved him in the process.

He started experimenting with new healthy ingredients and even enjoyed the challenge of making healthier versions of his favourite meals. I slowly taught him how to make each of his recommended meals, and he learned them all. So today, I don’t have to worry about who will cook for him when I’m not around – He no longer relies on me. He can cook for himself.

Final thoughts

Despite all our efforts together, we still have hard moments. There are days when my father will try to sneak sweets, when his sugar levels spike, or when he pushes back against taking his medicine.

But there are also moments of humour – Like when he accidentally drank my green smoothie thinking it was tea, and nearly spat it out.

These moments have a great impact on our relationship and bring us closer together. Laughter has become our way of coping. This helps stop diabetes from being a constant source of stress and makes the difficult moments a little easier to handle.

Diabetes transformed our lives. But it also gave us something unexpected – We got to spend more time together, formed a deeper and closer connection, shared a journey of learning, and grew together.

We’ve bonded more, and our relationship is easier than ever before.

It’s also given me a new perspective. I used to think I was just my father’s caregiver, but I realise now I’m more than that. I’m his companion in this fight, his confidant, and above all, his daughter in the truest sense. It’s made me feel loved and comfortable, particularly because of the tension we used to have between us – And that, more than anything, is the greatest gift of all.