9 Things I wish I knew before I became a diabetes caregiver

When my dad got diagnosed with diabetes, I had no idea how much our lives would change. I wasn’t ready to become a caregiver, health monitor, and emotional support all at once. Sometimes, I even have to be ‘the bad guy’.

If someone told me this before, about what to expect, it would have made things so much easier.

So, here’s what I wish I had known from the start:

#1 – Don't be the food police

One of my 1^st mistakes was thinking I could (and should) control what my dad ate.

I asked him a hundred times if he was sure he wanted to eat something. I thought I was helping, but all I was actually doing was making him feel guilty and angry.

Managing diabetes isn’t about making someone feel bad about what they eat. It’s about building trust and understanding.

#2 – Respect their autonomy

I thought I knew more about diabetes than my dad did – After all, I was the one doing all the research and reading all the articles.

However, I quickly learned that reading articles doesn’t compare to actually living with diabetes. My dad didn’t want someone telling him how to live. What he wanted was to feel like he was in control of his own life.

So instead of telling him what to do, I started asking him – What did he want, and what did he think was best for him?

It made a difference because my dad felt like he was in control. I wasn’t pushing him along; I was walking with him.

#3 – Knowledge beats nagging

At first, my dad followed instructions and took his medication. But I soon realised he didn’t really understand why he had to. He even asked me if diabetes was that serious.

So, we had to sit down and have a talk.

I told him everything he needed to know about diabetes, taught him about insulin and blood sugar spikes, and showed him YouTube videos in Hindi.

That one conversation made him more interested in diabetes than all my nagging and reminders combined.

#4 – Care for the caregiver

Being a primary caregiver will drain you in ways you never thought possible. You’ll be worried about your loved one and their blood tests, but you won’t think to check on yourself. And neither will anyone else.

I used to think whenever I felt tired or overwhelmed that I was being selfish. But burnout for caregivers is real, and no one benefits from it.

Eventually, I learned to talk to my friends about it, go out, and take care of myself.

#5 – Don't assume silence means strength

My dad didn’t say much about his feelings. So I thought he was fine. But that wasn’t true – He wasn’t saying anything because he didn’t want to burden me.

One day, I asked him what he was struggling with. And that was the 1^st time he opened up to me about it. He talked about his worries, fears, and everything else.

I made it a point to let him be vulnerable and to listen. Because diabetes isn’t just physical; it’s emotional too.

#6 – Every day won't be a win

There will be days when your loved one won’t want to take their meds or exercise. They won’t want to do anything, except sit and mope.

And that’s okay.

There’s nothing you can do to make them feel better, and you shouldn’t take it personally. Just show them that you love them.

#7 – You're not the doctor but you are the bridge.

You don’t have to know everything – You just have to be the connection between your loved one and the resources they need.

Be the person who helps them keep track of their numbers, encourages them to keep up with their meds and go to their checkups, and asks the questions they’re too shy to ask.

#8 – Celebrate the small wins

One day, I found my dad making porridge out of millet instead of white rice. And he took a walk after dinner.

I told him I was proud of him.

Sometimes, simply encouraging your loved one works better than any diet plan or exercise chart.

#9 – In the end, it's about love

Being a caregiver isn’t about being perfect. It’s about:

• trying your best.
• loving someone enough to be there for them, even when it’s hard.
• being patient and forgiving.
• helping them try again when they falter or fall.

I wish I’d known from the start that I didn’t have to be perfect. That I just had to be there for him. It would have made things so much easier to manage and less emotionally stressful.

So if this is your 1^st time being a caregiver, don’t try to be perfect. Just care – That’s where the healing begins.