Marriage and diabetes – Making it work with my partner

Marriage brings together 2 people with different life experiences and backgrounds. When one of those experiences includes a chronic illness (like diabetes), there’s a steep learning curve – I found this out the hard way.

By the time I got married, I’d already been living with type 2 diabetes for 5 years. I thought I had a pretty good handle on it. I meal-prepped, my glucose monitor was practically an extension of my arm, and I knew how to listen to my body.

But I wasn’t prepared for how much my diabetes would become our diabetes. From navigating date nights to dealing with sudden blood sugar crashes, we both had a lot to learn.

Here are some things I learned about how to manage diabetes in a marriage and what I wish someone had told us sooner:

Understanding the invisible load

One of the biggest hurdles was getting my husband to understand the mental and emotional weight of living with diabetes. It’s not just about checking blood sugar or taking medication. There’s constant mental math:

• How many carbs are in this?
• Did I walk enough today?
• Am I feeling weird because my blood sugar is low, or just because I’m tired?

At first, he didn’t get it – Not out of ignorance, but because he simply couldn’t see what I was dealing with.

I remember snapping at him once when he asked if I wanted dessert after a long day. I was exhausted, and the thought of calculating insulin doses and adjusting for the treat just overwhelmed me. He thought I was being dramatic.

Eventually, we had a long talk about what diabetes felt like, not just physically but mentally. That conversation changed everything – He became more patient, observant and supportive.

Meal planning as a joint effort

Food is a central part of any relationship. But for us, it was especially tricky. My husband loves cooking, but his idea of a perfect meal was pasta, garlic bread, and maybe a side of fries – A meal loaded with carbs that would send my blood sugar skyrocketing.

We had to find a middle ground.

At first, he tried cooking ‘healthy’ meals, which often meant bland and unsatisfying dishes. I appreciated the effort, but I missed the joy of eating.

So we started experimenting together and found diabetic-friendly recipes that didn’t sacrifice flavour – Think grilled chicken with zesty marinades, cauliflower rice biryani, and sugar-free dark chocolate mousse.

Eventually, my husband started reading food labels, asking about my glucose levels after meals, and even reminding me to carry snacks when we were out. Those small gestures built a huge sense of partnership.

Handling emergency preparedness together

Low blood sugar episodes can come on fast. I’ve had them in restaurants, on walks, and once (terrifyingly) while driving.

After the driving incident, my husband and I had to sit down and have a serious talk about safety. Now, he knows how to spot the signs of hypoglycemia and where I keep my glucose tabs. We have snacks stashed in the car, my purse, and even in his backpack. We also created a simple action plan – If I seem disoriented, he knows exactly what to do.

It’s not about living in fear. It’s about being prepared.

And having someone who’s not just a witness but a participant in my care makes me feel safer every day.

Establishing boundaries, not getting a babysitter

One of my biggest fears was losing my independence. I didn’t want my husband to become a parent figure in my life who policed what I ate or hovered over every choice.

Thankfully, he understood that.

We talked early on about boundaries, and I asked him to support me without micromanaging. If I chose to indulge in a treat, I wanted him to trust that I’d manage it appropriately. Likewise, I promised to be honest about when I was struggling instead of pretending everything was fine.

This mutual respect helped us avoid resentment and maintain balance.

Because support doesn’t mean control – It means trust, accountability, and compassion.

Sharing emotional weight

Diabetes burnout is real. There are days when I want to just throw my glucometer out the window and eat a whole box of doughnuts.

My husband doesn’t try to fix those feelings – He simply listens.

Sometimes he offers distractions, like a funny movie or a walk. Other times, he just lets me vent. And knowing I can express my frustration without judgement makes all the difference.

He also helps me celebrate small wins, like lower A1C results, a week of consistent readings, or even just a good day – These moments remind me that I’m not fighting this disease alone.

Marriage and diabetes can be a complicated mix. But with open communication, shared responsibility, and a lot of grace, it’s manageable. And I’m managing it with my partner.